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The insane runners with a healthy thirst
by Webf**ker,
updated
bij Pink Panter, November 2004
The Hash Story
Hashing is ...
The History of Hashing
International Events
Some Hash Terminology
Hashing in the Netherlands
Hashing in the
Rest of the World
Hash Culture
WEB F**KER’s
Golden Rules of Hashing
The Hash Story
 The idea of the Hash
House Harriers was hatched at the Hash House, opposite the Selangor Club in
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, in 1938 by A.S. Gispert (G), Cecil Lee, (Horse)
Thomson and (Torch) Bennett. No-one really remembers whether it was an
elaborate excuse to drink beer, or just sheer madness to want to run long
distances over impossible terrain in tropical temperatures. But they did it.
And now so do thousands of masochists all over the world. Hashers will call
themselves drinkers with a running problem. Some say they keep fit, though
that’s hard to fathom. Others just carry on the tradition of insanity. But on
close scrutiny, what it boils down to is a religion; baptism is certainly
part of the ritual, and so is worship, albeit of the foamy amber stuff.
Whatever, all who Hash seem to enjoy the pain and the punishment. It’s fun.
And that’s what this Web Page is all about.
On Up
Hashing
is...
Hashing is a very social, recreational cross-country running and walking for
fun activity. A few social beers at the finish of exercise is the primary
goal. Actually catching the hare seems to be a rather distant second these
days, although it does still occasionally happen. Hounds talk and compare
notes socialising around the beer truck after chasing the hares at another
fun run. Many potential members have been quoted Phil Kirkland who said: If
you’ve half-a-mind to join the hash, that’s all you need.
Many packs break out the barbecue afterwards and make a party out of the
occasion. Having formed a circle and armed with plenty op spare drinking
vessels, (mis)management introduce beer down-downs for the hares, visitors,
leavers, returnees, new boots and other excuses (sinners). The emphasis is on
spontaneity and the entertainment by the participants is often quite
hilarious.
On Up
The History of Hashing
A.S. Gispert aka G an English chartered accountant with Evatt & Co.
established the Hash House Harriers in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia in December
1938. He started up the harriers group from among bachelors of the day
resident at Selangor Club Chambers. It did not start at the Long Bar of the
Selangor Club. He also conceived the alliterative name Hash House Harriers.
The hash house was the term by which the dining room annex was known because
of its cuisine.
The hash never ran from this location but rather on the outskirts of KL town
in the vast rubber estates. However, many post-run gatherings and celebration
diners were held at the hash house. Some of which were somewhat noisy.
The ice, beer and ginger beer (for shandies) was taken out by car in a
galvanised tin bath together with a couple of dozen enamel mugs.
The second Hash Chapter was formed by Capt. Gus Mackie, who’s brother ran
with the pre-war Mother Hash, in Italy on April 22 1947. Europe’s first hash.
Over the subsequent years, many new Hash Chapters have been formed over the
whole world. At present, over 1,250 chapters are registered.
On Up
International Events
Every 2 years
all the hashers meet at the Interhash. Interhash ‘98 has been in Kuala
Lumpur, Malaysia. 60 years after the founding. The next was in Tasmania,
followed by Goa.
We had great fun in Cardiff last summer. The 2006 event will be in Chiang
Mai, organised by a consortium of hashes from six countries in the Mekong
region.
Interhash 2006 27
- 29 October, 2006
Chiang Mai, in the north of Thailand
The continents
entertain themselves, if there is no global event.
Eurohash 2005 12
- 14 August, 2005
Heemskerk, The Netherlands
On Up
Some Hash Terminology
FRB - Front Runner Bastard/Bitch
Hare - Person who sets the run
Co-hare - Person who assists the hare
Hounds/pack - The runners following the trail set by the hare
SCB - Short Cutting Bastard
On-On - The food, drinks, singing, socializing and entertainment after
the run
Down-down - The downing of a beer (or in exceptional cases a tea) for
the hares, visitors, new boots and everybody who deserves it
Check - A gap in the trail in order to allow the pack to catch up with
the FRB's
Grandmaster - The chairman of the (mis)management of a Hash Chapter
On Up
Hashing in the Netherlands
After 3 years of hashing with the Petaling HHH, in Malaysia, I keep the
opinion that Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia offers the best hashes. The Malaysian
rubber- and palm-oil estates and the jungle close to KL are perfect terrain
for running. KL was a perfect setting for the Interhash 98. And Tasmania
looks promising for Interhash 2000.
However, The Netherlands offers also good hashing. So, check out the Dutch
jungle, hills, and shiggy:
Amsterdam H3
Our little sister in Amsterdam.
 Assen H3
Guess what? you can find them in Assen!
On Up
Hashing in the Rest of the World
Global
Trash World H3 Home Page
A very good website for Hashing
especially the calendar of events!
 Who runs where, and why?
On Up
Hash
Culture
 The manual of coarse
hashing - or what you always wanted to know about hashing but never liked to
ask.
A most widely sought after, useful and interesting document has recently been
smuggled out from the London Underground Press (thought to be printed in a
disused urinal in Piccadilly Circus Station). By devious means it was passed
to one swinging type middle-aged Ibrahim bin Kayu and thence to the hallowed
publication in the Petaling HHH 1000th run Magazine.
HASHTURBATION - is it unhealthy?
This self-abusive practice is very common amongst hashers. A poll showed that
97.3% of harriers and 82.1% of Harriettes run themselves off regularly. It
used to be customary to discourage the practice of going on these solitary
runs which generally was thought to lead to housemaid’s knee, madness and
general dissipation. Young people however became more aware of the function
of their running organs and what delight they can bring.
HASHOMANIA - can it be cured?
Some Harriettes develop an insatiable hashpetite and cannot restrain
themselves from going to every Hash that will indulge them. Usually such
Harriettes had a father who did not have a very positive attitude to hashing
and they have a desire to be dominated. Some people say they rarely
experience a good run-in. Cure - who cares?
How much FOREGAME is necessary?
Foregame, or running up and down before a hash, touching the toes and
generally stimulating the running organs is regularly practiced by some
hashers. Others leap from their cars, achieve a stance and immediately get on
with the run. It is a highly personal thing to be decided among hash
partners.
Is ORAL HASHING immoral?
Oral hashing or chewing the fat is very popular with some hashers who only
come to the beer wagon to talk about hashing but never actually indulge in
it, or do much of it. Although many find it agreeable, it is to be severely
discouraged.
What appeals to HASHEURISTS (or PEEPING TOMS)?
Hasheurism, or watching other people hash gives most of us great pleasure, if
only we are prepared to admit it. Hence the popularity of athletic meetings
and long-distance running films. The practice of lurking in dark crevices in
the hope of glimpsing passing hashers is a rather more sinister symptom, and
usually indicates a degree of deprivation and lethargy.
What are HASHOGENOUS zones?
Certain regions of the body, such as the back of the knees, balls of the feet,
armpits end elbow joints are supplied with a great concentration of nerve
endings so that they respond highly during foregame and on the run. Their
biological purpose is to make hashing pleasurable and to ensure the continued
movement of the species.
Are DIRTY OLD HARRIERS to be pitied or censured?
The days are gone of sniggering at and the more serious condemnation of
people who carry on hashing too late in life. Clinically conducted
experiments show that old runners of even 80 or more can achieve a perfect
good stance and run with great pleasure after a good hash (just ask Uncle
Looi or John Duncan).
FETISHASHISM - is it dangerous?
The pleasure of the Hash becomes associated with a certain object or
material, without which the fetishashist cannot get a good run. Thus we find
hashers with a handkerchief tied around their head, a funny picture on their
chest or a metal horn in the hand or a compulsion to urinate during every
run.
PREMATURE RUN-IN - what are the causes?
Harriers on their first hash or two may be subject to this problem, finding
themselves on the run-in shortly after starting off, or even almost before
that start the hash. Those hashing after a long break may also have the same
problem. If a few minutes break is taken, the hasher will find that he can
achieve a more satisfactory run at a second attempt.
HASHOCHISTS -do they really enjoy it?
In hashochism (or sometimes hashellation) the participants feel pain just as
much as anyone else. Their hang-up is that they only get satisfying hash if
in pain, inflicted for example running through thorn bushed, wearing spiked
running boots inside-out etc. To recognise the hashochist, look for tell-tale
scratches and scars on the thighs and calves.
Is ANAL HASHING a normal, acceptable practice?
Anal hashing, or arse slithering, is a means of fully enjoying steep
descents, indulged in by some hashers who find it helps to fill a gap in
their lives.
Do PROHASHTITUTES have a good run-in?
Prohashtitutes, who will go on any hash primarily for the subsequent
alcoholic reward, are often said not to experience a satisfactory run-in.
There is no evidence to prove that this is really so, and many of them find a
considerable pleasure in the hash act itself as well as in the reward.
HASHSIBITIONISM - what are its causes?
The hashsibitionist obtains his main hashing joy through displaying himself
on the hash. Frequently it is associated with deprivation in immaturity when
the normal show-off behaviour of the young runner has been suppressed by
domineering Joint Masters. It may take many forms, such as topless hashing,
horn honking, shouting rude words at checks etc. The fast running FROPS are
prime Hashsibitionists.
HASHORNOGRAPHY (or HASHORNO) - what is the law?
In the famous case of D.P.P. versus Hash Organs LTD, it was Mr. Justice
Flipcock who caused the collapse of the whole concept of what was accepted as
HASHCENITY in the ruling that the mere printing of such terms as legs and run
(the infamous three-letter word does not in itself constitute hashcenity).
The question is - are they printed as part of good literature or to lewdly
titillate hashing fantasies?
On Up
WEB F**KER’s Golden Rules of Hashing
1. Always stick to a nice butt
2. If that butt runs too fast, find another one
On Up
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